So I was looking at my blog this morning, and I figured "one post a year is good, right?" Sheesh. That led me to realize that life with five kids being married to a military man leaves precious little time to my name. especially now that there are going to be no more Simmons' minions coming into this house, at least until the current minions are old enough to be having minions of their own, I find myself feeling a little like a drifter in my own life.
A decade is a long time to dedicate myself to the having of babies, and I loved it. I loved being pregnant, and I loved having tiny little babies at my house. I even loved the tiny little diapers, which Jeff so lovingly calls the cute little tiny holders of poop. (He thinks I am weird.) Don't get me wrong, there were definitely moments that I didn't love, which usually involved poop, weirdly enough, and I am sure there are going to be many more moments on this crazy ride called Motherhood that I won't love. But, since today I am waxing nostalgic, I am remembering all of the moments that I did love. The new baby smell, those cute little sounds they make, the adorable little shocked expressions they make looking around seeing the outside world for the first time, when you see them watching their hands and realizing that they have control over those wonderful contraptions, the first from the belly giggle that melts your heart... I could go on and on.
So now, I am wondering, that I am done having babies, what do I do next? And I know that the next phase is raising these crazy kids that I adore, and I am working on that, but I am feeling "without purpose." I sacrificed 10 years and my body and I was ecstatic about it, and it was a grand glorious purpose. So, again, I say "Now what?" How sad is it that we are always told that Motherhood is the grandest and most glorious of jobs, and I am feeling like I don't do anything, and what should I do with myself now? I don't want to get an "outside" job, and I truly love my life, I am just "sending this cosmic question out into the void" (that is a line from one of my all time favorite movies :-))
As we are gearing up for yet another move I have been systematically going through all of our accumulated clutter. There is one nice thing about being done having babies, and that is finally being able to send stuff to Good Will and not cart it around everywhere we go. I am determined that during these next 3 moves in 3 years that I will seek to rid myself of at least 30 percent of just stuff. That's 10 percent each move... ( I did that math in my head, y'all, be impressed.) I am hoping that I can convince my children to get on board. So far, I am just getting rid of stuff while the boys are at school, and the girls are engaged in their "online learning." Seems to be working so far. It amazes me that they don't notice something is even gone, but if they see you getting rid of it, it becomes an all out tragedy.
Well, how's that for a years worth of rambling?